The Villagers Voice

"Your Voice That Bridges The Area Communities Together."

Charlie’s Voice – I Fell For Fall

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

It’s mid-October. We’re smack dab in the middle of Autumn. It couldn’t be more welcome. Even though it’s warm for fall, it’s still comforting to be out of the decades-long brutal heat wave. Every degree above 80 (and there were many of them) brought increasing agony. I was in constant turmoil. “How am I going to keep my wife from complaining about the heat without spending half of my pie budget on air conditioning?” “How long will I have to fill this bird bath every week?” Most importantly, “When is the new season of Tulsa King going to drop?” These are all critical issues that are affected by the intense heat. It was caused by what the liberals call ‘global warming’ but is more commonly called ‘summer’.

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Charlie’s Voice – Tupper Where?

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

I was lost in Walmart last Tuesday. Maybe it was Thursday. No, Wednesday. I know it was Wednesday because that's the day they have what they call "cashiers/."

Anyway, I wasn't really lost. I knew where I was. It's just they move stuff around and I can't ever find what I need. They enjoy confusing me, but they never confuse me about where they take my money. It's funny how that works.

While searching aisle ZZ-949, I noticed a pitcher by the famous Tupperware. How the mighty company has fallen to end up in a discount store.

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Charlie’s Voice – To Boldly Go

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

I boldly went. I went to rent a car. I can't tell you where because of those pesky lawyers, but I was promised a five year mission. Maybe it was seven days to seek out new life, and new civilizations.

My car is suffering and has to go into the car sick bay for car surgery. I thought I'd rent a car. Since we live in the wilds of Southern Illinois, we have to drive an hour to get almost anything. Most days it's charming in a pastoral sort of way. Today is not most days.

I was like a good little riffraff and went on-line to reserve a rental. It went remarkably easy to get confirmed to get a car, and I got a great deal on whatever car they wanted to give me. All I had to do was show up in Mt. Vernon, give them money, and voyage away. What fun.

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Charlie’s Voice – Aunt Colony

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

July 26 is National Aunt and Uncles day, but I missed it due to my extensive social obligations and crushing nap schedule. They can offer unconditional love without rules, judgment, or any repercussions. I feel close to my aunts, and I'm sure my uncles were probably okay too.

I'm a fan. Aunts are like mothers without the rules or emotional breakdowns. I'd rather have an aunt than a mother, but I guess that isn't possible. Most of my aunts are in the Carmi nursing home, which I refer to as the “Aunt Colony. Be aware, that term is copyrighted.

My closest aunts are my mother's sisters. I call them “Flora and Fauna”. They were born in the 40s. They're very intelligent, and know almost everything, including Latin. They know Latin, math, and cursive because they went to Freiberger one room school before the state took over and destroyed education. They also know absolutely everything about plants and animals, hence their pseudonyms.

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Charlie’s Voice – Illinois End Of Life Options Act (Deb’s Law)

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

(Dylan Thomas)

As a caregiver, I have strong feelings against assisted suicide. My first exposure to the concept is when my mother had cancer. I caught her stashing the pain killers the doctor prescribed. She had a crumbled Kleenex with enough morphine in it to kill a horse. I asked her if she was planning to OD, and she wouldn't answer. I was devastated, and took her stash away. Was I wrong? I still don't know. She did live months after that, although there was pain.

September 12th Illinois joins 13 other states in allowing assisted suicide. The law is called “Deb's law”.

“Deb's Law” is named after social worker Deb Robertson. Her career included (according to deathwithdignity.org) helping families “in moments of vulnerability”. Deb herself has a diagnosis of terminal cancer. The law allows patients that have 6 months or less to live the option of getting drugs to end their lives. The current law specifies that mentally capable adults should have this option.

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Charlie’s Voice – Geezer Diaper Divide

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

We, along with millennial friends, were at dinner. We were at the former “Spot Tavern and MMA Cage” in the backside of Carmi. The conversation turned to baby diapers, of all things, during dinner. How gross.

Frankly, I've heard of diapers but have no real experience with them. The highly classified intel was closely guarded by females. Men weren't allowed to diaper, and I believe that's still the case. What little I know about diapering is the result of research and not hands-on education. Really.

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Charlie’s Voice – Motherhood

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee...” (Jeremiah 1:5 KJV)

When does motherhood begin?

All of my adult life, abortion has been a hot topic. In college speech class, I drew that subject for my impromptu (extemporaneous) speech. It was a disaster. My classmates weren't happy with anything I said. It was so bad I dropped the class, and never took it again.

Discussion about abortion hasn't evolved. As a man, I'm not allowed to have an opinion about what goes on in a woman's uterus, even if I was part to the goings-on. Any comment is met with outrage, and references to “The Handmaids Tale” by Margaret Atwood. It all centers on a woman's rights. Maybe if I profess to be a tran-woman I get to have an opinion.

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Charlie’s Voice – Geezer Healthy Meals

by

Charlie Melton

By Charlie Melton

Today I had what you call an “epiphany”. For you Gen Z malcontents, I had an idea that didn't come from TicToc or AI.

I was unsupervised and alone in beautiful downtown Harrisburg. My stomach growled near Taco Bell. Running for the border, as they used to say, is forbidden for my demographic. I ignored my health contracts, and cruised on in.

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