You remember that I have a bunch of grandsons spread throughout the Midwest. They each have issues with authority, in general. This makes them very entertaining and well liked by teachers, employers, and in-laws. I consider it to be a genetic gift. You’re welcome.
Today’s well-liked grandson is 7, and goes to school in Fancy County. Daughter was at work and in a meeting. When she was finally released, she saw she had many missed calls from the school. Like any good parent would, she panicked, thinking that the boy was severely injured, or kidnapped by terroristic cheerleading stewardesses. She called back while praying.
Boy wasn’t bleeding or missing. The big emergency was that while in the restroom he pointed his finger like a gun and said “bang, bang.” One of the other boys told on him for threatening with a dangerous appendage. To make matters worse, Boy called the snitch a “snitch.”
How horrible! Boy acted like, I don’t know, maybe, a boy. We can’t have males walking around acting all manly. What’s the new term? Toxic, that’s it. “Toxic masculinity” is the new improved term for males who act like males. Perhaps it’s related to Toxic Shock Syndrome. Someone with a college degree decided that male and female brains are nearly identical, with the exception of the shopping gene. The experts decided that males suffer because society expects them to be assertive and dominating and toxic. Males are naturally sensitive like little girls. It’s all explained in self-help books on male sensitivity. They’re in WalMart by the man-bun dye and women’s hygiene products.
Is Boy a victim of toxic males pressuring him to point his finger and say, “bang bang”? If that’s so, then why is he in trouble? He’s a victim too. If he’s not a victim, then he alone is responsible for toxic masculinity. I guess that’s why this 7 year old must be stopped. If unchecked, he may make fun of men that cry and have man-buns and skinny jeans.
So Boy was punished like he wasn’t a victim, but a criminal. I personally think the punishment is severe. He has to apologize via what educators call a “thinking paper.” Apologizing for being a male just reinforces the current theory that something is wrong with males.
The paper is like a test. Number 1 is: “What did you do wrong?” It goes on to ask why he did the wrong thing, and on and on. I thought he should have answered, “What I did wrong is act like my teacher has a clue about how to educate me.” He can’t do that though, because psychologists have thought-police degrees that must be respected.
As for being in trouble for calling the boy a snitch, I’d say he’s right on the money. The kid is a snitch. He needs to know. It would be wrong for him to grow up, tell on the other guys in his cell block, and have his man-bun ripped out until he cries all over his skinny jeans. Boy is helping him.
It’s not just him that is being maligned by schools. Boys are expected to sit and study and cooperate and not be toxic, just like good little girls. News flash, I don’t care what the brains look like – boys and girls are different. The way they’re treated makes boys think that something’s wrong with them. The misery that Boy and others live with at school reinforces that they’re substandard and toxic. We used to have things like the Boy Scouts to let us be boys, but that’s against us now too.
I’m thinking that it would be kinder if we males skipped 80% of school and went straight into working so we can be male. I never had a job anywhere that asked me to do a thinking paper. Occasionally, a job required me to point things at other people. It wasn’t called “toxic masculinity.” It was called being a man, and it fed my family without apology. Bang, bang that.
Boy, you should come to Grandpa’s house. We can be toxic and be men without having to write about it. This is where “snitches get stitches.”